Choosing To Trust Is The Key to Entering His Rest

Childlike Trust

As many of you know I am a mom of three beautiful children. Last week the children's father called to tell them that he was going to get them a yummy surprise. Thiana my youngest was particularly excited because her daddy always gets her the best treats. While the kids were waiting for their dad to come over Thiana was starting to get a bit hungry. She said mommy when is daddy coming, I'm really hungry? I said do you want something to eat while you wait for your dad to come? Yes, can I have some square cereal? I said you sure can. As I was preparing her cereal, Thiana had another question. Mommy if I eat this cereal I won't be hungry for daddy's surprise. Your right, you probably won't have room to eat daddy's surprise if you eat now. I watched as Thiana was faced with this moral dilemma, as concern washed over her little face. Mommy, I don't want any cereal I will wait for daddy to come. Are you sure sweetheart? Your daddy may be running a bit late. Yes mommy, Thiana replied I will wait for daddy.

Twenty minutes later Thiana comes back to my office and climbs into my lap. Mommy when is daddy coming, I'm really hungry? Your daddy will be here just like he promised sweetheart. Doesn't your daddy always give you yummy things when he promises? Yes, said Thiana but I'm really hungry now! But if I eat the cereal I won't be able to eat the surprise. Are you sure daddy is coming? Well, baby, you know that your daddy loves you very much right? Yes mommy, said Thiana. Then because your daddy loves you, he will come with your surprise. But if you want I can always get you cereal while you wait. What would you like to do, for it is your choice Thiana? Then I will wait for daddy to come, I won't eat the cereal. Certain in her choice and convinced that her daddy loves her she hopped off my lap and went to play with her sister.

As their Dad got delayed, Thiana went through the choice of eating now or waiting for the surprise at least 3 more times that afternoon. Each time I told her that her father loves her and he will keep his promise to his little girl. Despite the hunger pains she was going through, each time Thiana chose to wait, and declared that daddy is coming. Finally, the long-awaited moment arrived when Daddy came bearing all kinds of treats. Thiana got a big juicy cheeseburger that looked almost bigger than her head, as well as some lollipops and snack cakes. As she dug into that big cheeseburger, with meat juices dripping down her chin she smiled and said I'm glad I waited, Mommy.

Trusting in the Prophetic Word

Whenever God sends His word to us, we as believers are immediately faced with a choice to make. Do we believe in the divine word that was sent or do we find our own way to meet our needs? Thankfully in all things God has provided an example to us of what not to do while waiting. The writer of Hebrews said " TToday if you will hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion" Hebrews 3:15. During Israel's Wilderness (waiting) season "God said that they tested Me, tried Me, and saw My works for 40 years, so I swore in My wrath they shall not enter My rest" Heb3:9-11. Do you remember that saying that God will not give us more than we can bear? Well, that principle applies to when God asks us to trust Him with the right time for the promise to appear. 

When we were new believers, did you notice that God often came through for you quickly? Sometimes in the most dramatic and spectacular fashion imaginable. Those deliverances left no doubt in your mind that God was with you and for you. As you begin to mature in the faith, He started to put you in situations where the wait is stretched out a bit longer. In an ideal situation, you would have recalled how God came through the last time and held out and trust that He would come through again. This cycle continues over and over again with each delivered promise bringing us to another level in Christ. Hopefully, while we wait on God, we begin to rest on His promise, knowing that if He did it before, He will do it again. That rest during the wait is what keeps us from working to make something happen in our own strength.

Let's go back to the example of the Israelites and what not to do while waiting. The journey during the Wilderness kicked off in spectacular fashion. A pillar of fire guided their way by night and a cloud by day. This lead them to the Red Sea miracle where God forever put their former life behind them, by parting the sea and drowning Pharoah's armies. God was doing everything possible to show them that the people could trust Him just like their forefathers did. Apparently, God didn't build up enough trust for the Israelites because it quickly went out the window a mere THREE DAYS after the Red Sea deliverance. The Israelites complained about the bitter water as if God wouldn't supply water for them. For it was God that took them on that route! This dysfunctional cycle of miracle, complaining, disobedience, repentance, and miracle continued until the final culmination of the mutiny of the 10 bad spies. At that point, God had enough of the relationship and decided to start again with the next generation.

Entering His Rest

So what stopped the Israelites from entering the Promise Land? The writer of Hebrews said that an evil heart of unbelief caused them to depart from the living God. In every scenario where the Israelites faced a dilemma, instead of holding fast to the promise that God would provide, they would despair and act out. Now, what does unbelief look like to God? Unbelief says to God I don't trust You, and because I don't trust You, I don't believe that You will do what You said. Remember unbelief stops the hand of God from acting in your life because it also leads to rebellion. Recall the first human sin in the garden Genesis 3:1-5. God had provided for Adam and Eve for probably years in a perfect environment. Then Satan comes along and causes Eve to lose trust in God's motives and provision for her household. Thinking that God was now untrustworthy she took the matter of knowing good and evil into her own hands. The result, God's provision was canceled out and they were kicked out of Paradise. When Jesus was traveling in His hometown, He could not do many mighty works because of their UNBELIEF Matthew 13:58. 

"A promise remains of entering His rest, let us fear lest any of you seem to have come short of it. The word which they heard did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in those who heard it, for we who have believed do enter that rest" Hebrews 4:1-3. Remember that God will equip you to perform the duties He has called you to do. If you feel during your waiting that your faith is running short, then ask Him for faith. "For by grace you have been saved, through FAITH,  and that NOT OF YOURSELVES, it is the GIFT of God, not of works lest anyone should boast" Ephesians 2:9. If you find yourself questioning God that is ok, He can handle your questions. In fact, it is better to take your questions to God and have a difficult conversation with Him, rather than letting Satan talk to you about your questions. We have a great High Priest that can sympathize with our weaknesses. Our High Priests tells us to come boldly before the throne to find mercy and grace to help in our time of need, Hebrews 4:16.  

Hasn't God performed so many miracles in your life up until now? Remember that your heavenly Father loves you. He has given you a great high priest in heaven, and Christ lives to make intercession for you. Lastly, God has given you His Spirit that lives and dwells inside of you as proof that you are His child. God will come through for you. Wait and trust in His timing, for He knows when you will be ready to receive. For the blessing of the Lord maketh one rich and He adds no sorrow with it Proverbs 10:22.

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Freedom From Lust Part 2

Lust and Dating

Hello again, if you are new to this blog I highly encourage you to read part one before reading this post. Entering the dating scene after ten years of being in a rocky marriage was terrifying. Because although my marriage wasn't ideal by any standard, it was familiar. To me familiar equaled safe. Now instead of taking the time to heal, recover and figure out who I am in Christ. I searched for someone to anchor me in the midst of all of my uncertainty.  Dating with a broken heart is never a great idea, but I did it anyway. On one level it felt good to know that I was desirable and wanted, but what I quickly found out, was that desirability seemed to be the main thing. I was bombarded with different offers, some from really respectable gentleman and some from straight-up perverts. However at the end of the day, it appeared that in order to be in a relationship sexual immorality would be required.

I knew what God's word said about waiting and not being unequally yoked with unbelievers. Although I saw God's provision in other areas of my life I didn't quite trust Him with my love life. So for a season, I did things the world's way. Dating the world's way made me feel really empty because I gave away the most permanent and precious parts of me to temporary people. I also found out that in order to date "successfully" my heart had to change in a way that I did not like. In order to guard my heart, I had to become cruel, and standoffish in order to keep a man's attention. I hated the person I was becoming, someone that can use and throw away another person's affections in order to protect myself from hurt while searching for the one. Cruelty, lust, selfishness, lack of self-control, impurity are all characteristics of Satan. I should not have been surprised that since I was doing things the world's way, I would begin to take on the world's characteristics. Let's not forget I was not fully divorced before I began dating, so I can add adultery to the list of sins that I was quickly piling up.

One of the beautiful things about God is His grace and mercy. I began to seek God's face because I had no peace in this area of my life. During this time the Lord revealed a new dimension of Himself to me that I truly had never known before. God was showing me in His word that He would be my anchor in the midst of my storms. Instead of trying to forge my own path that was leading to nothing but rebellious wilderness wanderings, God offered me another way. If I would humble myself, repent and submit to God, He would become not just my Healer, but my Husband too! One of my favorite scriptures during this season of testing was Isaiah 54. I used to say verses like this to myself over and over again. "For Your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name, and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth. For the Lord has called you, like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, like a youthful wife when you were refused, says your God. For a mere moment I have forsaken you, But with great mercies, I will gather you. With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment; But with everlasting kindness, I will have mercy on you, says the Lord, your Redeemer."Isaiah 54:5-8 NKJV

Lust and Singleness

Eventually, God gave me the command to stop dating and to let Him choose my mate. This was a hard edict for me to accept, but I did it for the most part lol. At first, it was a struggle just learning to accept that it is ok to be alone but not lonely. Those two concepts are not the same thing. One of my biggest fears was to end up alone, but what I was really afraid of was the feeling of loneliness. My main coping mechanism for loneliness was porn and masturbation. Just like how alcoholics drinks to stop feelings of depression or fear, I used masturbation to get that dopamine high to cope with life. The closer I got to God during this time the more convicted I got of this sin, that I had since my teenage years. I found myself in this cycle of wanting to please God in this area and giving in almost all the time to my flesh. However, God knew exactly what to do to get my life to change. He made my life harder!

One of the amazing concepts of going through a Wilderness is that it is the place where God can purify, edify, and change a person into becoming more like Christ. Through the various trials that came, I learned about pressing in and developing a real everyday fellowship with God. The closer I got to God the more sensitive I became to the areas of sin in my life. I can honestly say for the first time, I truly began to see the ugliness of my sin and the depravity of my flesh. I was the temple of the Holy Spirit yet I was committing sins that were defiling the temple where God's Holy Spirit dwelt. I was no better than the Israelites that God spoke out against in Ezekial 8. The Lord made clear to me that I could no longer view pornography, commit masturbation and keep in fellowship with Him. I had to stop but how?

At first, I did it out of sheer will power and scripture. Satan is never going to let anyone just walk in purity without a fight. In the beginning, I had to learn to resist with scripture and prayer. I took to heart James 4:7-10 "Therefore submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." I said scriptures like this every time I got thoughts to indulge my flesh. Soon as I committed to obeying God in this area, He gave me more advice on protecting my purity. I became sensitive to the music I listened to and the shows I watched. I love playing music as I do chores like dishes or cooking. One day while washing dishes I was listening to Normani's song "Motivation". I'm not sure if it was during the song or immediately after but I noticed that my mind was bombarded with lustful thoughts. Images from past sexual encounters played in my head and I had to really fight to get the spirit of lust to leave me alone. 

That moment was hard but a great object lesson in protecting my eye gate and ear gate. I couldn't just play anything I wanted anymore. My flesh HATED the thought of restricting my music and the things that I saw. But Satan uses those things to harass and entice men to sin. It makes no sense for me to make my life harder because I value the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life more than anything else. Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-30 NKJV " You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell".

Deliverance From the Spirit of Lust

Little did I know that through all this that God was laying the ground work for me to gain complete victory over the spirit of lust. I found that now the time periods between repentance and sinning were growing longer and longer. Which for me was HUGE progress, but still there were times when it felt like an unsatiable urge would just consume my thoughts for HOURS at a time. I would pray to the Lord about what to do about it. Because I didn't understand why would that still be happening to me if I was controlling what I saw, hear, and I was feeding on a strong spiritual diet? Then one day I came across a teaching by the late Derek Prince called blessing and cursing. The sermon was about how Christians can still be afflicted by demonic forces that can cause sin and other unexplainable bad things to happen in their lives. I have always been wary about talks about demons and the like, the concept is scary and I wanted nothing to do with it. I figured that I wasn't under a curse because Christ became a curse for me when He hung up on the tree. But there was still this "thing" that afflicted me when I least expected it. So due to an odd series of events that happened to me over the prior two weeks, my mind was open to hearing this concept of deliverance from demons.

The presentation was simple and straight forward. Due to sin, demons are able to attach themselves to an individual causing them to be bound to that particular sin. But because Jesus has all authority now, we as believers can exercise that authority and rid ourselves of these demonic guests. Basically, the process was repent of sin, let the Holy Spirit guide if there are any other areas that need repentance, and command the demon to leave in the name of Jesus. That is the short version of the sermon I will post a link here to the full video. That is what I did I told the spirit that I repented of the sins of lust, sex, and masturbation and due to that, they no longer have the right to reside in my body. Then I commanded them in the name of Jesus to leave me now, and for good measure, I also plead the blood of Jesus against it. At the time I did this I was cooking in my kitchen, maybe in hindsight I should have been alone somewhere in my room in a quiet place. But I have kids and there is no such thing as a quiet place in the afternoon. But in the end that didn't matter. First I started burping really loud obnoxious burps. That freaked me out because I was doing this by myself and didn't want anything weird to happen on an Excorcist level if that makes sense.

I started praying harder because it felt like I was making some kind of progress. The burps turned into a nauseous feeling like I was vomiting something up from my stomach. I could feel the thing or things leave my body. When they were gone it was an incredible feeling of lightness and cleanness. Ever since that day, my walk with the Lord has been dramatically different. I no longer had a live-in saboteur pressuring me to give into my flesh all the time. Now when the bible talks about no longer being a slave to sin, and to be holy for I am holy, I am joyful because it is now possible to do. It is possible to live a holy life as a living sacrifice before God. Now although I still have the sin nature and I will always have the possibility to sin. I don't have to practice sin on a daily basis like I was before. Christ paid a huge price to redeem me from sin, and now I can fully enjoy this gift from my Savior.

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Let Go of the Seed: Planting Season is Here

Let Go Of The Seed

Have you ever felt that God placed a call on your life? When I say a call, I mean a specific task or duty that you just can't seem to shake. Often times God calls His children to go out and spread the kingdom message to the world through the gifts that He has placed within us. Usually, when we as believers hear the phrase call of God, our minds immediately drift to preaching in the pulpit. And for some us, that very well may be true. God's kingdom needs evangelists, apostles, prophets, pastors, and teachers to expand the kingdom and equip the body of Christ. But God's kingdom does not consist of just pastors and teachers. The kingdom of Heaven needs writers, singers, artists, teachers, and business people as well. The truth is that the body consists of many members each performing their God-ordained tasks to expand Heaven's kingdom on Earth.

Scattering Your Seed

To each of us was given a God placed call on our lives for His kingdom purposes. Think of the call of God as a seed placed in your care. To everyone in the kingdom, God has given a seed tailored made for your unique abilities! I find it so amazing that the God of the universe has decided to partner up with His children to spread the kingdom of Heaven! In order for that seed to be successful and grow, it requires our obedience to our Heavenly Father's directions. You must sow the seed that has been entrusted in your care, and God will take care of the rest. Jesus said in Mark 4:26-29 "And He said, The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground, and should sleep by night and rise by day, and the seed should sprout and grow, he himself does not know-how. For the earth yields crops by itself: first the blade, then the head, after that the full grain in the head. But when the grain ripens, immediately he puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come."

To those that obey the call of God and plant the seed, there will come many blessings and rewards. God will prosper and multiply HIS SEED, in your life, not yours. This is where the hard part comes into play. There were many, many times in my life where I wanted God to bless and multiply MY SEED. I would ask God to bless MY dreams, My plans, My wants, and MY desires. To be honest with you those dreams I harbored had nothing to do with the kingdom of God. My plans were exactly that; MY plans for building the life I wanted. You know what happens when you ask God to bless the work of your hands with YOUR SEED? Nothing but silence, you don't get heaven's results, you get your own. There were times that I could claim success, but it came with heartbreak and sorrow. I was responsible for tending and caring for the seed that I planted. It was like when God kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden. They no longer had God's blessing on their seed in the ground, instead, they had to toil and labor for meager fruit. For the ground would no longer give them its strength.

What happens to the believer that lives their entire life never planting the seed that was entrusted to them? Jesus tells us in Matthew 25:24-28

"Then he who had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours. But his lord answered and said to him, You wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed. So you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming, I would have received back my own with interest. So take the talent from him, and give it to him who has ten talents. For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the unprofitable servant into the outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

You Reap What You Sow 

Jesus makes it very clear what happens to unprofitable servants in the kingdom of Heaven. the seed that entrusted to the lazy servant by the Master was given to the good servant instead. So it will be with us, to those of us that will sow the Master's seed. God will bless the work of our hands and entrust to us even more seed to grow. You find this principle in farming. At harvest time the farmer keeps back some of the harvests to use for future plantings. Ultimately the choice is ours, we can sow and be profitable or hold on to the seed and have it taken away! 

After a very tough Wilderness (outer darkness) season, I finally yielded my life to God's plans and purposes. God renewed His call and placed a seed in my hands. If you are a gardener, you know that there is no such thing as an instant harvest. In Genesis God told Noah that " While the earth remains seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, winter, and summer, and day and night shall not cease. ( Genesis 8:22) Once you plant your seed there will be a period of time before you see the results. Do not look at other people during this time and start comparing harvests and seeds. Everything takes place in cycles in farming, planting season, rainy season, and finally harvest season. Now that you have the seed you must plant it before the Lord sends the rains to water His seed in the earth. So let go of the seed in your hand and watch for the harvest that the Lord will bring in!

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Is Masturbation A Sin? My Testimony on Freedom From Lust and Pornography

The Path To Masturbation and Pornography

This post is a little bit of a confessional for me and ripping away of the veil of pretenses. I have struggled with lust for most of my life. It was always my secret sin because as a girl growing up in a very strict Christian home lust was one of the worst sins I could possibly commit. I can’t tell you the number of times it was drilled into me at home and at church that I was to remain chaste, pure and a virgin until my wedding day. The only instruction that I was given was to keep my legs closed and I won’t bring dishonor to my God, family, and myself. This advice was extremely frustrating because although I and countless other girls were given the advice to keep our legs closed. The same due diligence didn’t appear to be given to the guys. There was this silent acknowledgment that boys will try and seduce me because at the end of the day boys will be boys. The problem is that this left me to be the sole gatekeeper to my chastity and didn’t address the issue of girls want sex too.

My experience growing up was something akin to living a double life. I had a heart for God and was very active in the church. I delighted in reading my Bible and learning about God and His ways. But on the other hand, I struggled at night alone in my bed with intense urges to masturbate. For the most part, I was able to keep the unexplained urges away until one night while watching tv in my bedroom I stumbled onto Cinemax at night. As I stared at the images on the screen I felt my conscience tell me to turn it off, that what I was watching was wrong. But at that moment something stronger than my conscience overruled it, and my body began to respond to what I was watching on the screen. That night led me down the path of being in bondage to pornography and lust.

Lambs to the Slaughter

I believe one of the biggest reasons why the instruction to just keep your legs closed fails to work time and time again, is because we live in a society that worships Love and Sex. In ancient times it was really easy to see what gods and goddesses reigned supreme in a society. Temples to goddesses of sex and pleasure were easy to find in times past. Although those societies have come and gone the spirits behind the deities still exist in our day. In today’s society, the worship of love and sex is saturated in our culture. Especially in American culture, the worship of love and sex is written about in our books, movies, songs, and fashion. In fact, it is not unusual for companies to advertise using a sexy model or actress because sex sells. The society we live in idolizes sex and as a result the spirits of lust and pornography reign virtually unchecked.

This is why giving a young girl or boy advice to just keep it in your pants or keep your legs closed never worked. Because even if on the outside a young person can refrain from sin, once you are behind closed doors like I was, the pull to masturbate (self-love) was always there. I was given physical natural advice to tackle a spiritual problem. Thus I never was told how to deal with this spiritual reality that was all around me. The more I watched porn and masturbated the more guilty and bound to sin I became.

Christian Watching Porn

I want to take a moment to talk about the corrupt nature of pornography in very real terms. When I first got hooked into pornography it was similar to the story of what you would hear a drug addict say about drug addiction. In my experience the initial climaxes I experienced when I was first watching porn were mind-blowing. But as time went on the intensity of the climaxes grew less and less. Which led me on a search for more intense pornography to get the same level of climax that I experienced in the beginning. This resulted in hours of watching pornography late at night and just like most drugs I couldn’t go to sleep at night until I masturbated. As I opened myself up to spiritual darkness each day, it led me down a path where masturbation wasn’t enough. I had to experience sexual interaction with another person. This led to phone sex on late night chat lines with complete strangers. The end result led me to want to meet and fulfill my sexual fantasies with another person.

During my descent into darkness, God never stopped reaching out to me to repent. I was still “saved” but my sin was separating me from the God I served. As time went on the thoughts and intents of my heart were on sex all the time. The irony of all this is that sex is a sacred act given to man by God himself. It is meant to be enjoyed wholeheartedly in the confines of marriage. What I found was that the reality of having sex never lived up to the fantasies I had in my head. I was never satisfied with my sexual encounters. It was by the grace of God that I didn’t get pregnant or catch a sexually transmitted disease. There was a part of me that was still terrified of being labeled a Ho, so I never racked up a high body count per se. However, the spiritual darkness grew within me every time I acted out on my lust.

Lust and Marriage

When I got married, I stopped watching pornography. I had reconnected with God enough that I no longer watched porn on a daily basis. But the part of me that was supposed to enjoy sex was broken. I still masturbated when my husband wasn’t around out of habit and as a way to relieve stress. I couldn’t connect with my husband the way I was supposed to. In many ways, my ex-husband suffered from the same fate as me. The culture we live in today glorifies sex. So now there are two broken people in a marriage that don’t know how to be one flesh the way God had originally designed it. Because I never was completely delivered from the bondage of lust, thoughts of prior encounters or porn I had watched before would pop up during intimate times with my husband. Instead of truly connecting, my mind would wander to what stimulated me before, which ended up cheating both me and my husband of God’s gift. Fast forward almost ten years and my marriage ended because of infidelity and other issues. I was left broken and devastated and in this state, I attempted to reenter the dating scene after twelve years off of it.





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Helping Others While Waiting on Boaz

The Rabbit Hole

Full disclosure last night was a very bad night for me. Nothing happened to me in a physical sense, like I got sick or stubbed my toe on the corner of the bed. But mentally I entertained some thoughts that I shouldn't have. Those thoughts sent me into a dark spiral that I didn't leave until very early the next morning. It started with something seemingly innocuous, I saw an Instagram post advertising for treats that you can get your sweetheart for Valentine's Day. As I stared at the pictures of those heart-shaped boxes a sense of dread washed over me.

Red Valentine Heart

I hate Valentine's Day with a passion. My hatred runs the gamut from the pettiest of reasons (I'm not dating anyone right now) to the horrible flashback of my ex-husband telling me that he no longer wanted to be married, as I was getting dressed for a Valentine's Day couple dinner at church. Thus the trip down the rabbit hole of despair began of one depressing thought after another. Will I ever find love again? Will I get married? How can I tell others that God has someone for them and I doubt it myself? Why does my ex have so much success dating and I can't? That last question was probably the pettiest of them all, to be honest.

A funny thing happens when your mind starts to focus on the negatives around you. Everything starts to turn negative. Yesterday was an endless series of why am I the only one cleaning up around here, washing dishes, cooking, etc. After hours of ruminating over these thoughts by the time evening arrived, I was done. I took solace in my bed, cried watched Hulu, cried some more and asked God to help me if He was even bothering listening to me at all. I have to say, my heavenly Father knows how to handle me and my swirling torpedo of emotions. I woke up around 4 am and that is when I heard His voice. Now, this isn't an audible voice from the heavens but rather a gentle imprint in my spirit where He gives me instruction. God gently let me know that my battle began when my thoughts started to focus on ME and what I don't have right now. God did give me a prophecy to the church that kingdom marriages are coming and I was included in that prophecy. What I need to do now is not focus on myself, but rather focus on Him and the work He has given me to do.

Seek First The Kingdom

The kingdom of Heaven runs on acts of love, helping others, and selflessness. God assured me that if I keep my eyes on Him and serve the people that are in my sphere of influence then the promise of marriage will come sooner than I think. Jesus said that if we seek first the KINGDOM OF GOD and His RIGHTEOUSNESS then all these THINGS WILL BE ADDED unto you Matthew 6:33. As understanding began to dawn on me and calmness wrapped around my soul, things began to make more sense.

Small Bible class

I know you are probably asking at this point what does helping others in the kingdom, have to do with feeling lonely? Well, glad you asked, the reason God told me to focus on serving His people is that it blunts the attack of Satan. One of Satan's most effective tools is selfishness and comparing our selves to others. When I started looking at what other people were doing (dating, getting married, etc..) I started questioning why I didn't have that. Mind you before the dreaded thoughts of Valentine's Day came to mind, I was perfectly fine and happy. I was thinking of the projects God had given me to do and was feeling really fulfilled. Of course, Satan can't have us happy and fulfilled doing our kingdom duties, so he did what he is really good at. Make you question God's integrity. Has God really said that you will get married one day? If God wants you to get married, why won't He let you date like everyone else? If you could date like everyone else then you wouldn't be lonely anymore. I fell for the classic Has God really said play. I started questioning God's goodness, His promises and God's character in general. Once I stepped into that territory I began to sink and opened myself up to the attacks of Satan.

Humble Yourself

Keeping myself busy with the work of the kingdom gives me such a sense of fulfillment that there is no room for a sense of loss. What God was relaying to me, is that one of the keys to promotion is serving in the kingdom of God. When we make it our priority to humble ourselves and advance the kingdom of God, then God makes it His priority to reward those seeking to do His will. 1 Peter 5:6 says "Humble yourselves, therefore under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." When I use the word promotion that stands for God's fulfilled promise for you. When we obey God's word and serve in His kingdom, God will be sure to have all things (marriage, job, peace, joy, provision) added to us.

Groom putting on shoes on bride's feet.

Just like Jesus did not come to be served but to serve, I must follow the same example. If I just focus on what I want God to do for me I will miss out on His greater purpose. In helping others, I am humbling myself, practicing submission to a future husband and preparing for the ministry that we will do together. Remember the goal of the upcoming kingdom marriages is to serve the church and help to equip the body for the end times.

God rewards and exalts those that choose to humble themselves. Recall what Paul said in  Philippians:3-4 NIV "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." As long as I humble myself and focus on the assignment God has given me to do in the kingdom, God will be sure to honor me in due time. This Valentine's Day I will get my toes done and I won't wait until the next day to get Valentine's Day chocolate. I will treat myself by paying full price for a fancy box of chocolate and get myself flowers because I deserve it. On second thought I'll just get the flowers and wait to get the chocolate at 50% off later.

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Get Back Up Again

The Struggle

Many times on our Christian journey we find ourselves struggling to deal with the sin that so easily besets us. Speaking for myself, right now the Lord has me dealing with gluttony and using food as an emotional response. Although God has said that He is the God of all Comforts, I still found myself going on a junk food binge on this particular weekend. I knew what the God's word said in regards to the sin of gluttony, however, I found myself struggling to apply the Word and not giving into my flesh. Paul details a similar struggle in Romans 7:21-24 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? NKJV

As I was staring at myself in the bathroom mirror wondering why I failed again, and beating myself up mentally. The Lord gave me a word of wisdom that dried my eyes and gave me hope. I would like to share it with you dear reader, where ever you are.

A newborn baby takes many falls when first learning how to walk. But with each stumble, the parent helps the child to get back up again. As the child grows he stumbles less and less. The potential to trip and fall is always there (sin nature). But the expectation is that as the child grows into adulthood, his walk will become sure and he will be able to walk, run, and leap.

So it is in our walk with Christ. Sin is always present in our mortal body (Romans 7:17) with the ability to trip us up. But as we mature in Christ, first feeding on the milk of His word (1 Peter 2:2) and then progressing to solid foods; we get stronger and are able to discern between right and wrong (Hebrews 5:14). As a parent watches over a baby to catch them when they fall so our Heavenly Father watches over us(Psalms 11:5). 

But there is an expectation for children to hit developmental milestones. 

If a child does no hit certain milestones, then extra training is put in place to get the child where they need to be. God expects us to grow and mature in Christ. If we as God's children refuse to grow; Then God will give us situations that will force developmental maturity (Psalms 68:6, Wilderness Wanderings). This is all so that we can come into the fullness of the knowledge of Christ.

The worst thing I could do is to not get back up again after stumbling. You have to get back up and keep moving forward. Eventually, as the Holy Spirit enables you to practice righteousness the call of sin will grow fainter and fainter. Until you reach a point that you can walk sure-footed in your fellowship with God. So get up and continue your walk of faith!

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Prophetic Dream: Prepare For Your Kingdom Marriage Part 2

In the first half of this message, I described the dream that was given to me in the late summer of 2019. In case you missed the first post, I have the link for it right here https://www.javadevotions.com/2020/01/prophetic-dream-prepare-for-your.html

If for some reason you can't read that post here is the prophetic dream that was given to me last year.

Late in the summer of 2019, I received a dream from God concerning marriage. In this dream, I was seated in a university classroom, with many people milling around and talking in their seats. The room was shaped in a semi amphitheater setting with the professor positioned at the bottom standing at his podium with a giant blackboard behind him. I remembered the professor signaling for everyone to take their seats so that the lecture could start. As the professor started to speak his voice was drowned out by a deeper voice that seemed to be coming out of a sound system. I quickly realized in the dream that God had taken over the lecture. The lighting in the room intensified but not so much where I was blinded but instead, there was still a bright glow around the room. Along with the light the voice of God filled the air and I had to focus and tune into what He was saying. I am putting couples together to go out two by two throughout the whole Earth, to equip the body of Christ. My people are not prepared to endure the End Times. As I looked around me the people that were students were transformed and each had an assigned mate handpicked by God. Their clothes were transformed into white robes that seemed to reflect the bright light that was in the classroom. As each person found their assigned mate they left in pairs to do the divine assignment given to them by God Himself.

As you prepare both spiritually and physically for marriage the one that will guide and direct you in this great endeavor is the Holy Spirit Himself. Jesus told His disciples that before He would depart for heaven that He would not leave them orphaned but would give them another Helper. John 14:17-18 says the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. It is vitally important that you listen and DO what the Spirit instructs you to do, in order that you will be ready to receive the promise of marriage in His timing. From my own experience after many failures I have learned to try to obey the Lord the FIRST TIME He tells me to do something. That way, I won't delay the promise due to my own disobedience. There are few things worse than knowing you either delayed or stopped the plans of God because of refusing to listen and obey the direction of God.

The more time you spend in the presence of God, the more you will recognize the voice, direction, and gentle leading of the Spirit of God. Jesus gave a great parable and warning to the disciples about how important having the Holy Spirit would be; especially when it comes to being prepared for His promises over your life and for the soon return of the Lord's coming. In Matthew 25:1-10 we find the parable of the ten virgins.

Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept. And at midnight a cry was heard: Behold, the bridegroom is coming: go out to meet him! Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, Give us some of your oil. for our lamps are going out. But the wise answered, saying, No lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell. and buy for yourselves. And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those WHO WERE READY went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut.

 In the parable, the Holy Spirit represents the oil in the lamps of the five wise virgins. The more you draw near to God and obey Him, the more He makes His presence manifest in your life. The foolish virgins had very little oil in their lamps. In fact, the foolish virgins oil supply was so low that when they woke to light the lamps the flame was just a tiny flicker! The lack of oil/Holy Spirit in their lives reflects the lack of preparation that went into meeting the bridegroom. All the virgins knew that the promise was coming, but only half of them did the necessary work to be ready for the timing and promise of God. These five wise virgins had the MANIFEST presence of the Holy Spirit abiding with them.

It all ties back to the beginning of seeking God first above all things. John 14:21 states He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and MANIFEST Myself to him.  The manifest presence of God in your life will make you ready for His promise companion. Because remember the gift of marriage is not just for you, but it is so that you can display the glory of God in your union. And not just display God's glory but to equip the body of Christ. If you don't have the Holy Spirit operating in your life then you will be in no position to help build up others they way God would want.

Beware of the counterfeits that WILL come your way! Satan always has a knack of knowing when a promise of God is getting ready to be released in your life. Sometimes it can be hard to hear the voice of the Spirit if the counterfeit is pleasing to the eyes. It can be also hard to see the truth if on the surface this person seems to have the items on your list checked off. A good test is to always check the fruit of the person's life. Does this person have a deep walk with the Lord? Will they be able to take up the mantle with you and do the work that God will call both of you to do? What do your family and friends have to say about them? Often times we ignore the blatant red flags due to not wanting to be alone anymore, and all that will do is completely wreck the purpose that God has for you. Remember what fellowship does light have with darkness, and in the multitude of counselors, there is safety. Sometimes if lust is involved it can be hard to hear the truth, but no matter how much your flesh screams in protest, trust that God has someone picked out just for you. This person will be more than able to match your desires, and passions and be able to walk with you adding to your life, not taking away.

Finally, the Lord will guide you to make physical and practical changes in your life to prepare for marriage. Remember the very act of preparation is an act of faith in God's provision and promise for a mate! Is the Lord guiding you to lose weight and take care of your diet? Then do it, you don't want to cut the time short that you have with your mate because of overindulgence in food. Self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit, so He can guide and help you in this area! Make sure your finances are in order, and if you need any help in this area, the Holy Spirit will also guide you in this as well. Lastly, make sure your hygiene is good and ready to go. Before Esther was introduced to her future king she had to go through 12 months of preparation to get her physical body ready to meet the king.

Esther 2: 12-13 Each young woman's turn came to go in to King Ahasuerus after she had completed twelve months prepartion, according to the regulations for the women. for thus were the days of their preparation apportioned: six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women. THUS PREPARED, each young woman went to the king, and she was given whatever she desired to take with her from the women's quarters to the king's palace.

The one that God has prepared for you, their heart will beat for you. However, you want to look your best for this meeting, because you only have one chance to make a first impression. So make that impression count because you never know when the day or the hour will come when the promise will come into your life!

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Prophetic Dream: Prepare For Your Kingdom Marriage Part 1

Have you ever asked yourself, Is marriage God's will for me? It can be especially hard to watch friends and family make that walk down the aisle and you are left to wonder When will it be my turn to get married? It can be just as difficult to come out from a divorce or another failed relationship and think will I get a chance for a new beginning? Keep reading because I believe that it is God's perfect will for you to be married.

Late in the summer of 2019, I received a dream from God concerning marriage. In this dream, I was seated in a university classroom, with many people milling around and talking in their seats. The room was shaped in a semi amphitheater setting with the professor positioned at the bottom standing at his podium with a giant blackboard behind him. I remembered the professor signaling for everyone to take their seats so that the lecture could start. As the professor started to speak his voice was drowned out by a deeper voice that seemed to be coming out of a sound system. I quickly realized in the dream that God had taken over the lecture. The lighting in the room intensified but not so much where I was blinded but instead, there was still a bright glow around the room. Along with the light the voice of God filled the air and I had to focus and tune into what He was saying. I am putting couples together to go out two by two throughout the whole Earth, to equip the body of Christ. My people are not prepared to endure the End Times. As I looked around me the people that were students were transformed and each had an assigned mate handpicked by God. Their clothes were transformed into white robes that seemed to reflect the bright light that was in the classroom. As each person found their assigned mate they left in pairs to do the divine assignment given to them by God Himself.

It is my opinion that marriage is the desired will of God for His people. It is through marriage that families are established and God's glory can be displayed on the Earth. While there are instances of people that have the gift of singleness and whose main purpose is to serve God. Those people are rare with notables like Paul, Mordecai, and the most famous Jesus Himself! For the most part marriage and family is an integral part of the Kingdom of Heaven agenda. Because it is one of the vehicles that display God's glory in the world, it has been attacked like none other by Satan. The good news is that God is intervening because the times run short and the body of Christ must be prepared for the end.

I highly encourage you then beloved, to prepare yourself for the promise of marriage. Preparation is an act of faith that you will trust God to bring His desired mate to you. There are two types of preparation that has to be done before God can deliver His desired mate to you. You first must go through spiritual preparation and physical preparation. I will start with the spiritual prep work first because in all things the spirit always comes before the physical.

God must be set in your heart first to avoid the stumbling block of idolatry. When God was leading the children of Israel into the promised land, He gave them one directive over and over again. Above all the command to LOVE the Lord thy God with all your heart, and with all your mind was uttered constantly. The reason is that the most important thing for us is to seek the heart of God more than what is in His hand. As the children of God through Christ Jesus, it is God's desire to take care of you and give you the desires of your heart. But there is a catch to it, it is God's will for you to know Him intimately.  In James 4:8 it says "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" and in Hebrews 11:6 it says that God is a rewarder of those that diligently seek Him. As you begin to purposely spend time with God you will find that your desires will change to His desires instead so that you can walk in unity with Him. If you are walking in unity with God, then your heart won't turn and make the promise of marriage or your mate the god of your life. God frequently warns us about idolatry. Idolatry is not just a little gold idol or wooden figurines, but it is anything that makes us choose it over obeying God.

The next thing that has to be prepared for marriage is your mind. For the kingdom of Heaven is first established in your heart and your mind. Do you harbor fears of being alone for the rest of your life? Well then if it is God's desire for you to be married your thoughts will have to come into agreement with God's word. Fears of being alone, suffering another failed relationship, and uttering curses against yourself will have to be dealt with. With the help of the Holy Spirit and the word of God, those strongholds set up in your mind will have to be torn down. For some people that is a quick process and for others it will take longer. Romans 12:2 says And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. It is God's will to have kingdom marriages and families in the Earth. Psalms 68:6 states God sets the solitary in families. He brings out those who are bound into prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.

Check back in for when I post part two of preparing for your kingdom marriage. In the meantime you can watch my YouTube video on this subject.

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HOW TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD

The Invisible Kingdom

The Kingdom of Heaven is God's invisible dominion in the spirit realm, that makes itself visible through the children of God on Earth. Because God's children were born and raised in the cultures and mannerisms of Earth, sometimes those habits and patterns bleed into the domain of the Heavenly kingdom. When Jesus walked the Earth, his disciples asked him what is actually an age-old question. "Who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven"? It is quite natural for us to want to be the top of the class, or to be successful in life. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be great or to seek to do all things well. The problem comes about when we as believers bring the kingdom of the world ways of operating into the kingdom of heaven. 

Castle in the sky

Jesus did not rebuke the disciples for asking the question. What He did instead was to explain how promotion works in God's dominion. Matthew 18:1-5 states " At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven? Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said. Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.

Childlike Faith

When I became a parent I sometimes marveled at just how much my children trust what I say. A newborn child is at the complete mercy of the parents' care. As a child grows the parents are the child's primary source of information on how the world works. If I were to tell my children that talking to strangers is bad then they believe me. If I were to say that vegetables are good for you even if they taste bad, then my children believe that too. A child is born with an implicit trust in the honesty of their parent's words. That trust in the parent's word is called faith, and when the child acts on the parent's words it is called obedience.

Perils of Disobeying Your Parent

Recently while dressing my four-year-old child, she objected to the idea of moisturizing her skin. As the parent, I know that in the winter the air is cold and dry, which can result in dry and cracked skin. My little girl objected to this daily ritual and stated that she was no longer going to listen to my ideas. My four year old went on to explain that she thinks that her ideas are best and I can't trick her anymore into doing my ideas. Now considering that I was in the middle of writing this article I was dumbfounded by the idea that a 4-year-old child would declare that she knows more than me.  I was also struck that she felt if she followed my advice that I was tricking her out of having a better outcome in life.

Now how often have we as believers rejected the Father's counsel opting to do things our way instead! Just like a human baby, when we are born again we are new creatures in Christ. We have to be fed the pure milk of the word, and we grow and eventually switch to solid foods growing and maturing in the Lord. A new believer is born into the Kingdom of Heaven and has God Himself as their parent! Jesus before leaving for heaven declared that He would not leave us orphans but would give us another Helper.
John 14:15-18 If you love Me, keep My commandments. And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever- the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him for He dwells with you, and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.
The Holy Spirit is the best parent that anyone can ask for. In everything He will lead, guide, comfort, teach and point us to Christ Jesus.

Instead of operating according to the principles of God's kingdom, we often fall for the same trap that Adam did in the Garden of Eden. We listen to Satan's deception " Has God indeed said?" (Genesis 3:1).

The outcome of following our own counsel instead of following the directives of our Heavenly parent is ALWAYS disastrous! This line of thinking that a created human (which is lower than the angels), has more wisdom than the Most High God is rebellion. Just like any good parent will not tolerate rebellion in a child residing in their house. So our Heavenly Father will not tolerate rebellion in His own children. 
The Discipline of God

Hebrews 12:5-11 states
"And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord LOVES He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons, Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for OUR profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."- NKJV
Just like we discipline our children so that things will go well for them, so our Heavenly Father disciplines us.
Who Then is the Greatest?

The greatest in the kingdom of Heaven comes down to the one that humbles himself as a little child (Matthew 18:4). The humble child is the one that listens to their Father and obeys His commands. The truths of the kingdom of Heaven are often simple yet profound at the same time. As the old song says "Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

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