Helping Others While Waiting on Boaz

The Rabbit Hole

Full disclosure last night was a very bad night for me. Nothing happened to me in a physical sense, like I got sick or stubbed my toe on the corner of the bed. But mentally I entertained some thoughts that I shouldn't have. Those thoughts sent me into a dark spiral that I didn't leave until very early the next morning. It started with something seemingly innocuous, I saw an Instagram post advertising for treats that you can get your sweetheart for Valentine's Day. As I stared at the pictures of those heart-shaped boxes a sense of dread washed over me.

Red Valentine Heart

I hate Valentine's Day with a passion. My hatred runs the gamut from the pettiest of reasons (I'm not dating anyone right now) to the horrible flashback of my ex-husband telling me that he no longer wanted to be married, as I was getting dressed for a Valentine's Day couple dinner at church. Thus the trip down the rabbit hole of despair began of one depressing thought after another. Will I ever find love again? Will I get married? How can I tell others that God has someone for them and I doubt it myself? Why does my ex have so much success dating and I can't? That last question was probably the pettiest of them all, to be honest.

A funny thing happens when your mind starts to focus on the negatives around you. Everything starts to turn negative. Yesterday was an endless series of why am I the only one cleaning up around here, washing dishes, cooking, etc. After hours of ruminating over these thoughts by the time evening arrived, I was done. I took solace in my bed, cried watched Hulu, cried some more and asked God to help me if He was even bothering listening to me at all. I have to say, my heavenly Father knows how to handle me and my swirling torpedo of emotions. I woke up around 4 am and that is when I heard His voice. Now, this isn't an audible voice from the heavens but rather a gentle imprint in my spirit where He gives me instruction. God gently let me know that my battle began when my thoughts started to focus on ME and what I don't have right now. God did give me a prophecy to the church that kingdom marriages are coming and I was included in that prophecy. What I need to do now is not focus on myself, but rather focus on Him and the work He has given me to do.

Seek First The Kingdom

The kingdom of Heaven runs on acts of love, helping others, and selflessness. God assured me that if I keep my eyes on Him and serve the people that are in my sphere of influence then the promise of marriage will come sooner than I think. Jesus said that if we seek first the KINGDOM OF GOD and His RIGHTEOUSNESS then all these THINGS WILL BE ADDED unto you Matthew 6:33. As understanding began to dawn on me and calmness wrapped around my soul, things began to make more sense.

Small Bible class

I know you are probably asking at this point what does helping others in the kingdom, have to do with feeling lonely? Well, glad you asked, the reason God told me to focus on serving His people is that it blunts the attack of Satan. One of Satan's most effective tools is selfishness and comparing our selves to others. When I started looking at what other people were doing (dating, getting married, etc..) I started questioning why I didn't have that. Mind you before the dreaded thoughts of Valentine's Day came to mind, I was perfectly fine and happy. I was thinking of the projects God had given me to do and was feeling really fulfilled. Of course, Satan can't have us happy and fulfilled doing our kingdom duties, so he did what he is really good at. Make you question God's integrity. Has God really said that you will get married one day? If God wants you to get married, why won't He let you date like everyone else? If you could date like everyone else then you wouldn't be lonely anymore. I fell for the classic Has God really said play. I started questioning God's goodness, His promises and God's character in general. Once I stepped into that territory I began to sink and opened myself up to the attacks of Satan.

Humble Yourself

Keeping myself busy with the work of the kingdom gives me such a sense of fulfillment that there is no room for a sense of loss. What God was relaying to me, is that one of the keys to promotion is serving in the kingdom of God. When we make it our priority to humble ourselves and advance the kingdom of God, then God makes it His priority to reward those seeking to do His will. 1 Peter 5:6 says "Humble yourselves, therefore under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." When I use the word promotion that stands for God's fulfilled promise for you. When we obey God's word and serve in His kingdom, God will be sure to have all things (marriage, job, peace, joy, provision) added to us.

Groom putting on shoes on bride's feet.

Just like Jesus did not come to be served but to serve, I must follow the same example. If I just focus on what I want God to do for me I will miss out on His greater purpose. In helping others, I am humbling myself, practicing submission to a future husband and preparing for the ministry that we will do together. Remember the goal of the upcoming kingdom marriages is to serve the church and help to equip the body for the end times.

God rewards and exalts those that choose to humble themselves. Recall what Paul said in  Philippians:3-4 NIV "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." As long as I humble myself and focus on the assignment God has given me to do in the kingdom, God will be sure to honor me in due time. This Valentine's Day I will get my toes done and I won't wait until the next day to get Valentine's Day chocolate. I will treat myself by paying full price for a fancy box of chocolate and get myself flowers because I deserve it. On second thought I'll just get the flowers and wait to get the chocolate at 50% off later.