Freedom From Lust Part 2

Lust and Dating

Hello again, if you are new to this blog I highly encourage you to read part one before reading this post. Entering the dating scene after ten years of being in a rocky marriage was terrifying. Because although my marriage wasn't ideal by any standard, it was familiar. To me familiar equaled safe. Now instead of taking the time to heal, recover and figure out who I am in Christ. I searched for someone to anchor me in the midst of all of my uncertainty.  Dating with a broken heart is never a great idea, but I did it anyway. On one level it felt good to know that I was desirable and wanted, but what I quickly found out, was that desirability seemed to be the main thing. I was bombarded with different offers, some from really respectable gentleman and some from straight-up perverts. However at the end of the day, it appeared that in order to be in a relationship sexual immorality would be required.

I knew what God's word said about waiting and not being unequally yoked with unbelievers. Although I saw God's provision in other areas of my life I didn't quite trust Him with my love life. So for a season, I did things the world's way. Dating the world's way made me feel really empty because I gave away the most permanent and precious parts of me to temporary people. I also found out that in order to date "successfully" my heart had to change in a way that I did not like. In order to guard my heart, I had to become cruel, and standoffish in order to keep a man's attention. I hated the person I was becoming, someone that can use and throw away another person's affections in order to protect myself from hurt while searching for the one. Cruelty, lust, selfishness, lack of self-control, impurity are all characteristics of Satan. I should not have been surprised that since I was doing things the world's way, I would begin to take on the world's characteristics. Let's not forget I was not fully divorced before I began dating, so I can add adultery to the list of sins that I was quickly piling up.

One of the beautiful things about God is His grace and mercy. I began to seek God's face because I had no peace in this area of my life. During this time the Lord revealed a new dimension of Himself to me that I truly had never known before. God was showing me in His word that He would be my anchor in the midst of my storms. Instead of trying to forge my own path that was leading to nothing but rebellious wilderness wanderings, God offered me another way. If I would humble myself, repent and submit to God, He would become not just my Healer, but my Husband too! One of my favorite scriptures during this season of testing was Isaiah 54. I used to say verses like this to myself over and over again. "For Your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name, and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth. For the Lord has called you, like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, like a youthful wife when you were refused, says your God. For a mere moment I have forsaken you, But with great mercies, I will gather you. With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment; But with everlasting kindness, I will have mercy on you, says the Lord, your Redeemer."Isaiah 54:5-8 NKJV

Lust and Singleness

Eventually, God gave me the command to stop dating and to let Him choose my mate. This was a hard edict for me to accept, but I did it for the most part lol. At first, it was a struggle just learning to accept that it is ok to be alone but not lonely. Those two concepts are not the same thing. One of my biggest fears was to end up alone, but what I was really afraid of was the feeling of loneliness. My main coping mechanism for loneliness was porn and masturbation. Just like how alcoholics drinks to stop feelings of depression or fear, I used masturbation to get that dopamine high to cope with life. The closer I got to God during this time the more convicted I got of this sin, that I had since my teenage years. I found myself in this cycle of wanting to please God in this area and giving in almost all the time to my flesh. However, God knew exactly what to do to get my life to change. He made my life harder!

One of the amazing concepts of going through a Wilderness is that it is the place where God can purify, edify, and change a person into becoming more like Christ. Through the various trials that came, I learned about pressing in and developing a real everyday fellowship with God. The closer I got to God the more sensitive I became to the areas of sin in my life. I can honestly say for the first time, I truly began to see the ugliness of my sin and the depravity of my flesh. I was the temple of the Holy Spirit yet I was committing sins that were defiling the temple where God's Holy Spirit dwelt. I was no better than the Israelites that God spoke out against in Ezekial 8. The Lord made clear to me that I could no longer view pornography, commit masturbation and keep in fellowship with Him. I had to stop but how?

At first, I did it out of sheer will power and scripture. Satan is never going to let anyone just walk in purity without a fight. In the beginning, I had to learn to resist with scripture and prayer. I took to heart James 4:7-10 "Therefore submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." I said scriptures like this every time I got thoughts to indulge my flesh. Soon as I committed to obeying God in this area, He gave me more advice on protecting my purity. I became sensitive to the music I listened to and the shows I watched. I love playing music as I do chores like dishes or cooking. One day while washing dishes I was listening to Normani's song "Motivation". I'm not sure if it was during the song or immediately after but I noticed that my mind was bombarded with lustful thoughts. Images from past sexual encounters played in my head and I had to really fight to get the spirit of lust to leave me alone. 

That moment was hard but a great object lesson in protecting my eye gate and ear gate. I couldn't just play anything I wanted anymore. My flesh HATED the thought of restricting my music and the things that I saw. But Satan uses those things to harass and entice men to sin. It makes no sense for me to make my life harder because I value the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life more than anything else. Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-30 NKJV " You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell".

Deliverance From the Spirit of Lust

Little did I know that through all this that God was laying the ground work for me to gain complete victory over the spirit of lust. I found that now the time periods between repentance and sinning were growing longer and longer. Which for me was HUGE progress, but still there were times when it felt like an unsatiable urge would just consume my thoughts for HOURS at a time. I would pray to the Lord about what to do about it. Because I didn't understand why would that still be happening to me if I was controlling what I saw, hear, and I was feeding on a strong spiritual diet? Then one day I came across a teaching by the late Derek Prince called blessing and cursing. The sermon was about how Christians can still be afflicted by demonic forces that can cause sin and other unexplainable bad things to happen in their lives. I have always been wary about talks about demons and the like, the concept is scary and I wanted nothing to do with it. I figured that I wasn't under a curse because Christ became a curse for me when He hung up on the tree. But there was still this "thing" that afflicted me when I least expected it. So due to an odd series of events that happened to me over the prior two weeks, my mind was open to hearing this concept of deliverance from demons.

The presentation was simple and straight forward. Due to sin, demons are able to attach themselves to an individual causing them to be bound to that particular sin. But because Jesus has all authority now, we as believers can exercise that authority and rid ourselves of these demonic guests. Basically, the process was repent of sin, let the Holy Spirit guide if there are any other areas that need repentance, and command the demon to leave in the name of Jesus. That is the short version of the sermon I will post a link here to the full video. That is what I did I told the spirit that I repented of the sins of lust, sex, and masturbation and due to that, they no longer have the right to reside in my body. Then I commanded them in the name of Jesus to leave me now, and for good measure, I also plead the blood of Jesus against it. At the time I did this I was cooking in my kitchen, maybe in hindsight I should have been alone somewhere in my room in a quiet place. But I have kids and there is no such thing as a quiet place in the afternoon. But in the end that didn't matter. First I started burping really loud obnoxious burps. That freaked me out because I was doing this by myself and didn't want anything weird to happen on an Excorcist level if that makes sense.

I started praying harder because it felt like I was making some kind of progress. The burps turned into a nauseous feeling like I was vomiting something up from my stomach. I could feel the thing or things leave my body. When they were gone it was an incredible feeling of lightness and cleanness. Ever since that day, my walk with the Lord has been dramatically different. I no longer had a live-in saboteur pressuring me to give into my flesh all the time. Now when the bible talks about no longer being a slave to sin, and to be holy for I am holy, I am joyful because it is now possible to do. It is possible to live a holy life as a living sacrifice before God. Now although I still have the sin nature and I will always have the possibility to sin. I don't have to practice sin on a daily basis like I was before. Christ paid a huge price to redeem me from sin, and now I can fully enjoy this gift from my Savior.

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HOW TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD

The Invisible Kingdom

The Kingdom of Heaven is God's invisible dominion in the spirit realm, that makes itself visible through the children of God on Earth. Because God's children were born and raised in the cultures and mannerisms of Earth, sometimes those habits and patterns bleed into the domain of the Heavenly kingdom. When Jesus walked the Earth, his disciples asked him what is actually an age-old question. "Who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven"? It is quite natural for us to want to be the top of the class, or to be successful in life. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be great or to seek to do all things well. The problem comes about when we as believers bring the kingdom of the world ways of operating into the kingdom of heaven. 

Castle in the sky

Jesus did not rebuke the disciples for asking the question. What He did instead was to explain how promotion works in God's dominion. Matthew 18:1-5 states " At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven? Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said. Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.

Childlike Faith

When I became a parent I sometimes marveled at just how much my children trust what I say. A newborn child is at the complete mercy of the parents' care. As a child grows the parents are the child's primary source of information on how the world works. If I were to tell my children that talking to strangers is bad then they believe me. If I were to say that vegetables are good for you even if they taste bad, then my children believe that too. A child is born with an implicit trust in the honesty of their parent's words. That trust in the parent's word is called faith, and when the child acts on the parent's words it is called obedience.

Perils of Disobeying Your Parent

Recently while dressing my four-year-old child, she objected to the idea of moisturizing her skin. As the parent, I know that in the winter the air is cold and dry, which can result in dry and cracked skin. My little girl objected to this daily ritual and stated that she was no longer going to listen to my ideas. My four year old went on to explain that she thinks that her ideas are best and I can't trick her anymore into doing my ideas. Now considering that I was in the middle of writing this article I was dumbfounded by the idea that a 4-year-old child would declare that she knows more than me.  I was also struck that she felt if she followed my advice that I was tricking her out of having a better outcome in life.

Now how often have we as believers rejected the Father's counsel opting to do things our way instead! Just like a human baby, when we are born again we are new creatures in Christ. We have to be fed the pure milk of the word, and we grow and eventually switch to solid foods growing and maturing in the Lord. A new believer is born into the Kingdom of Heaven and has God Himself as their parent! Jesus before leaving for heaven declared that He would not leave us orphans but would give us another Helper.
John 14:15-18 If you love Me, keep My commandments. And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever- the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him for He dwells with you, and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.
The Holy Spirit is the best parent that anyone can ask for. In everything He will lead, guide, comfort, teach and point us to Christ Jesus.

Instead of operating according to the principles of God's kingdom, we often fall for the same trap that Adam did in the Garden of Eden. We listen to Satan's deception " Has God indeed said?" (Genesis 3:1).

The outcome of following our own counsel instead of following the directives of our Heavenly parent is ALWAYS disastrous! This line of thinking that a created human (which is lower than the angels), has more wisdom than the Most High God is rebellion. Just like any good parent will not tolerate rebellion in a child residing in their house. So our Heavenly Father will not tolerate rebellion in His own children. 
The Discipline of God

Hebrews 12:5-11 states
"And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord LOVES He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons, Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for OUR profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."- NKJV
Just like we discipline our children so that things will go well for them, so our Heavenly Father disciplines us.
Who Then is the Greatest?

The greatest in the kingdom of Heaven comes down to the one that humbles himself as a little child (Matthew 18:4). The humble child is the one that listens to their Father and obeys His commands. The truths of the kingdom of Heaven are often simple yet profound at the same time. As the old song says "Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

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Psalms 119 This Is My Comfort In My Affliction

The Waiting Part

Waiting on God to fulfill His promise is something that all Christians will go through during our time here on Earth. At times the waiting can seem not long at all; especially when God comes through on a promise quickly. There may have been a little time of suspense when you are not quite sure if He is going to come through. Then all of a sudden bam! God made a way and we can sing our songs of praise and life is wonderful again. But a funny thing happens the longer you walk with the Lord. The trials start to get harder and the times between the spoken deliverance and the manifestation of the promise start to get longer. This is when the hard part starts. Welcome to what I like to call the fellowship of His sufferings.

Buried In The Dirt

Psalm 119:49-50 says "Remember the word to Your servant, Upon which You have caused me to hope. This is my comfort in my affliction, for Your word has given me life." Christian suffering can take many different forms. God can use divorce, job loss, rebellious children, and any number of things to 1) develop you into the image of Christ, 2) have everything work out for His glory and 3) deepen your faith and cause you to be a living testimony to others of the power of God. That is God's game plan, however, surviving that and coming out to the other side of victory can be long at times. What happens if you come down with a sickness that the doctors say will be with you for years? You know that God has given you a promise of healing, but when will that happen? When we are buried deep in the dirt is when feelings of loneliness, abandonment, doubt, and depression can easily take over. When I had my period of burial I used to feel guilty for being angry at God for the situation I was in. I couldn't understand why God would tell me one thing and yet it seems that everything around me was in complete contradiction to the promise of God. It is very easy to listen to Satan whisper the lies, that you are forgotten, you would have been better off sinning rather than walking in holiness and suffering. I have learned that when Satan starts talking then I needed to start talking back to him the word of God.

Developing Roots

Getting honest with yourself and God is vital to coming out of your period of waiting. Don't be afraid of having those hard conversations with yourself and God about how you feel. Don't be afraid of feeling negative emotions! I remember thinking that if I felt any kind of negativity or doubt then I was sinning. On top of dealing with really hard things that would make me cry, now there was this additional burden of pretending to God and myself that all was well. Because God forbid if anything other than a positive thought crossed my mind at any point in time. But you know what I learned, God gave me my emotions, the good and the bad. In fact, we all were made in God's image, so because God can feel anger so can we. If God can feel hurt, despair, jealousy, then so can we. You know a funny thing happened, God wasn't surprised by my feelings. Instead, He took my feelings head-on and gave me peace, joy, and grace instead. I learned that I can go to Him and lay everything down at the alter. I would ask God the hard questions of why is this happening to me? Sometimes He would give me an answer and sometimes He didn't. Every time I went to God with my doubts and fears, He gave me faith and grace in exchange. God is no respecter of persons, if He did it for me, He will do it for you. Getting buried in the dirt also taught me that His grace was indeed sufficient for me. Although God didn't remove the thorn in my flesh, His grace gave me the ability to endure the hardship. In fact, I really believe, that is the true definition of grace. Grace is the sacred ability to endure hardships as a good soldier in Christ.

The Final Fruit

What then is the purpose of God for the trials? Well, Paul said in Romans 5:3-5 "And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance, and perseverance, character, and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us".

Once you made it through the fire of testing, one of the main things it produces in the life of the Christian is an unshakeable hope in Christ. There is nothing like having a steadfast companion that you can lean on and run to whenever things go bad. For some people that is a parent, or childhood friend, or spouse. However, sometimes God will remove those people out of your life so that you can learn to lean, trust, and run to Christ instead. During the dark times, when depression weighs on you like a dark wet blanket. The Holy Spirit will shine forth in your heart with a scripture or a song to drive the darkness away. That is why I love Psalms 119 because it goes down the path of trial but the writer turned to God's word every step of the way. It is ok to remind God of His promise to you, and it is ok to be weak because when you are weak, then He is strong. I'm going to end this post with the opening verse again. Say it to yourself and keep His word in your heart.

Psalms 119:49-50 Remember the word to Your servant, Upon which You have caused me to hope. This is my comfort in my affliction, For Your word has given me life.

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